Wednesday, August 11, 2010

A Hard Week

I have had some tough days this week.  I haven't cried in awhile, you know REALLY cried, with full-on puffy eyes and snotty nose.  I get tears in my eyes from time to time when I start letting my thoughts drift back to my pregnancy and mis-carriage, but I don't usually let myself go there, to the place of deep sadness.

I have two people very close to me who are pregnant right now.  I know countless pregnant women, but these two are especially close to my heart.  One of these friends found out she was pregnant (for the first time) the week after I found out I was pregnant.  We went through the first two weeks of our pregnancies together.  She has gone on to have a healthy pregnancy, and I.....didn't.  She began posting facebook updates/ultra sound pictures at about 7 weeks pregnant.  She is very sweet and sensitive to my feelings, but every update from her is a reminder of where I would have been in my pregnancy.  On my way home from work last week, she sent me a text to ask for my address so she could send me an invitation to her baby shower.  Uuuuugh, it felt like a punch in the gut.  I immediately felt that same deep sadness and loss and hopelessness.  I started having those self-pity thoughts....Will this ever get any better? I'm broken...Nothing can make what has happened right.  But, I tried to stop my negative thoughts, and change my attitude before I got home.  Once I got home, I was trying to hold it together.  My husband said something negative about what I had planned for dinner, and that's all it took.  I burst into tears.  Meanwhile, my husband is sitting on the couch looking at me like I am crazy.  I explained to him what brought tears to my eyes.  I think he understood, but sometimes he doesn't quite know how to respond to my tears.  And unfortunately, he has had to deal with my tears a lot lately.  I ended up going to the bedroom and I cried, I mean REALLY cried.

While writing this, I just now realized that I didn't once cry out to my Heavenly Father.  I tried to hold it together myself.  It didn't occur to me to talk to God about my pain.  This is something I have been struggling with since my mis-carriage.  I am struggling with trusting God completely.  I feel a distance between myself and God, and I know it is because I continue to hold back. I am afraid to have hope again, only to have my heartbroken.

My other friend who is pregnant, is a very close friend.  She told me she was 14 weeks pregnant with her first baby (after trying for one month, but that's beside the point) the week after my mis-carriage.  I am so excited for this girl.  She is such a sweetheart, and I can't wait to see her become a mom.  Last Sunday, I was grabbing my bible on my way to church and some ultra sound pictures fell out of my bible.  I had completely forgotten that I had put the pictures in there....yeah, that's how long it's been since I have flipped through the pages of my Bible.  It didn't bother me at the time.  While in church, we were singing worship songs, I kept tearing up every time I would look at my friend's adorable pregnant belly.  I couldn't stop looking at her tummy, but the tears were about to spill over, so I looked away, only to have my eyes find their way back to her tummy again.  With the tears come sadness.  And I just kept thinking, I hate feeling like this.  I hate that a beautiful glowing pregnant woman makes me sad.  This doesn't happen often, but for some reason it happened too many times this week.    

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