Popped!

Apparently my belly popped at about 12 weeks......

Just kidding! :-)  This is a prosthetic belly that I found in the dressing room of a maternity shop.

But, my belly has started to bulge a little. It has actually been bulging since about 5 weeks. I have been really bloated since then, but in the past few weeks it has been a little less bloat and more bump.  I had the opportunity to do some shopping in a larger city a week ago and found some great deals on maternity clothes to get me through the next couple months. I found a couple 2nd hand/consignment stores with really nice clothes, plus some great clearance at department stores.  Maternity clothes are SO comfortable. I still have a couple pairs of regular pants that I can button, but they are pretty uncomfortable.

Along with shopping, my husband and I also got to go to the Rock and Worship Road Show.  It was awesome!  I love The Afters, I only wish they got to play more than 5 or so songs.  Mercy Me closed the show and it was so worshipful.  It was amazing to worship with thousands of other people.  I think it gave us a teeny tiny glimpse of what heaven will be like.

I will leave you with a picture of the real belly bump at 12 weeks:

Faith of a Child

My little 4 year old niece is so sweet.  She is quite a character, full of spunk and imagination.  She is such a ham, always wanting to perform and saying the silliest things. The first time I saw her after my mis-carriage, she said, "Aunt A, how come your baby died?" (while her mother was cringing in the background).  I said, I don't know sweetheart.  Ever since then, she tells me that she prays for our baby. I always thought she meant our baby that we lost.  My sister-in-law was really excited to tell her that I was expecting again to see what her reaction would be.  My sister-in-law told her that God put a new baby in my tummy, and my niece said matter of factly, "I, know."  My sister-in-law said, "how do you know?"  My niece said, "BECAUSE, I pray every night that God will give Aunt A a new baby."  It was that simple.  She had asked God for this, why wouldn't she expect any different.  I LOVE this!  It's so simple, asking God for the desire of our hearts and believing that He will provide.  I know, with pain and loss, it's not quite so simple.  Our hurt and disappointment clouds our view at times.  But the truth is that God loves us and wants to bless us. I love this sweet reminder from my niece.

Truly Amazing

I had an ultra sound last Thursday at 12 weeks.  It was .....amazing. That word doesn't even sum it up, but I can't think of a word that describes the feeling I had sitting there with my husband watching our 12 week old baby bouncing around, kicking and hiding behind it's hands.  The baby looked perfectly healthy and was measuring big (no surprise there, my husband is 6'5 and I am 5'10). The measurements moved the due date up from 9/20 to 9/16.  I don't quite understand how that works.  We know exactly when conception occurred, so the due date can't really change, right?  This is something I'm going to ask my doctor when I see him next week.  Baby's heart rate was 164.  It was a little wiggle worm to start with. The tech was trying to get measurements of the baby's neck and the baby would turn and push it's head back. It kept pushing out it's hands and covering it's face.  It was so cute.
Here is a profile picture of the baby:

And here is a sweet little picture of the baby's hand:

I have these two pictures hanging on my refrigerator, and every time I see them, I feel like I have to pinch myself.  I never thought I would have my baby's ultra sound pictures displayed on my fridge. It really feels like a dream sometimes.

I just remembered, I have the great privelage of seeing my baby again tomorrow.  Our local pregnancy resource center started offering free ultra sounds about a year ago, and the nurse has to do a certain number of ultra sounds each month to remain certified.  At this time, they don't do enough ultra sounds with client's so they are looking for pregnant women to volunteer to have ultra sounds. It is a win-win, I get to support my local pregnancy resource center and I get to see my baby again. Yay! I don't know yet if they will need me to do more than one ultra sound, but I am willing to volunteer as much as they need me. :-)

All of our family has known about our pregnancy for awhile, but we just started telling our friends in the past couple weeks. It has been wonderful to share our joyful news with friends that have known about our struggle with infertility and our losses.  Our joy multiplies when our friends get to share in our joy. Their responses have been so sweet and heartfelt, because they understand the pain that we have been through.

This weekend, someone responded in a way that got under my skin.  While this person was completely well meaning, it still irritated me.  Like most people who have experienced infertility, there are a couple phrases that bother me. One is, "You just need to relax and it will happen", and the other is "You know what happens when you adopt, you get pregnant".  This person overheard someone ask me how I was feeling, and she asked if I had been sick, and I said no, I was pregnant.  She said that is wonderful news, how exciting! And the next thing out of her mouth was, "See, you tried to adopt and look what happened."  So, the adoption that didn't happen a year ago is all it took?  I'm sure it had nothing to do with the multiple fertility drugs I have taken and the countless doctor visits over the past year. Of course I didn't say any of those things, and I hope that doesn't come across as bitter. More than anything it makes me laugh that people actually say these things.